our Words Count
"There's an old joke that says,
'It took me two years to learn how to talk
and the rest of my life learning when to shut up.'
As funny as this little joke may be, it rang true to me. It made me question my own words at times. Am I being hurtful, abrupt, rude with the words I choose to say? Oh, boy, just thinking about it, there are times my words can be mean and hurtful. Especially to the people who are closest to me. As the New Year of 2023 begins, I resolve to be more aware of the words I choose to say.
I began reading a book called The Four Agreements
written by Don Miguel Ruiz.
The Four Agreements are:
1. "Be Impeccable with Your Word"
2. "Don't Take Anything Personally"
3. "Don't Make Assumptions"
4. "Always Do Your Best"
In this blog I'm going to concentrate on the First Agreement~
"Be Impeccable With Your Word.". When Ruiz speaks of being "Impeccable With Your Word" he concentrates on what we say and how our words can impact the outcome of any situation. Ruiz says that "It sounds simple, but it is very, very powerful...Why your word? Your word is the power that you have to create." He goes on to say that, "Your word is the gift that comes directly from God. The Gospel of John in the Bible, speaking of the creation of the universe, says, 'In the beginning was the word, and the word was with God, and the word is God." (25-26) When I read that I was curious to learn more about how we can use our words in a way that helps rather than hinders..
I do know that even one word can change a life or destroy the lives of many people. There are hurts that occur in our lives that effect us for years after they happen. For instance, if a parent compares child # 1 to child # 2 and says that child #2 is smarter. Child #1 may think that they're stupid and consequently live a life of low self-esteem always thinking that they're stupid. Words are so powerful that they can even change the way a person thinks. Let's say that child #1 meets a person who tells him or her in one word that they're not stupid. Child #1 may come to believe that what the person says may make him or her feel better about themselves. They then feel, "I guess I'm not stupid after all." He or she can then form a new mindset. And "As a result, no longer feels or acts stupid."(30) That one word has changed the way Child #1 feels and reacts about themselves because he or she has begun to love themselves. And in the future expresses this love to others.
The words we use must first start with how we see ourselves. If we talk to ourselves in a positive and loving way, we are half way there. Our words to others will then be expressed in a loving way as well. Therefore, the first step in being "Impeccable" with our word is to love ourselves. This step is extremely important in the way we talk to others. To change the way we see ourselves in a loving way by talking to ourselves helps us "deal with other people, especially those we love the most."(42)
Ruiz explains in The Four Agreements that he's simply "planting a seed in our mind. Whether or not the seed grows depends upon how fertile our mind is for the seeds of love. It is up to us to make this agreement with ourselves. Nurture this seed, and as it grows in our mind, it will generate more seeds of love to replace the seeds of fear"..."When you are impeccable with your word, you feel good; you feel happy and at peace." (44)
Being Impeccable with our words can set us free and give us a new beginning with ourselves and others. As we welcome in a New Year, may we all try our best to use our words lovingly.
It's not easy. I know. But, it is possible,
I'm going to try.
May you all have a
Happy, Healthy, Blessed New Year!
Happy tales to you,
Excerpts taken from:
The Four Agreements
Don Miguel Ruiz
A Place where I can Bark, Blog and Woof a Little
written by Yvonne Dagger